Death

What do you do when you stare death in the face?? Squarely in the eyes?? When there's nowhere to look but at that ugly brute beast? There - standing right there - forcing you to reconcile truths your mind would rather reject?

What do you do?

My grandmother died this morning. In her sleep. She was my mother's mother. She was, therefore I am. And now that she has gone, a piece of me goes with her. A piece of me. And a piece of my mother.

What do you do with that knowledge? WHat do I do with these seconds of slow realisation that I will never, ever see her again? Never hear that laugh again? Never see that smile again? Never learn anything more about that life from the one who lived it? Because it is over. That chapter is over. That book is permanently closed.

And here I am. Wondering. Waiting.

Waiting to inhale and let the truth in. Waiting to exhale and let the sadness out.

Here I am, waiting to feel something in a heart that suddenly refuses to feel.

Help?

Tuh-ribble!

Below is a video of a sting operation that was carried out by a police group. It shows an UNCLE selling, prostituting his BARELY THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD NIECE to tourist men for money.

My stomach turns. I am truly pained by this. First time I saw it, I hit at the man and nearly destroyed my laptop monitor.


I wonder, though, about so many things... they say the mother did not know, but did she really not know... didn't she have even a smidgen of suspicion? And at thirteen, what experiences could this young girl have had to lead her to believe that sex with tourist men is normal and acceptable ... and not worth telling her mother, or someone else who could put a stop to it, about?

Someone must be held accountable for this. The uncle is the obvious target. But what if there are others involved? How do we get them? Because we need to get them!!

I'm ba-ack!!

September 11, 2009.

That was the date of my last post. And so many things have transpired since then... I hardly know where to begin. And it's funny, because since my year-long hiatus from blogland, my number of followers has actually increased!! That's real encouragement.

I have something worthwhile to say afer all, and there are people who are willing to listen, and even respond! And perhaps be inspired to say something worthwhile too! That makes me smile.

It's been a year. A whole, long year (or something close enough). I didn't really plan my absence from blogland. Like so many other things, it just sorta happened.

But today, I step out of obscurity and recapture my voice... my blogvoice, to be more specific. I haven't been blogging, but I haven't stopped writing, and I definitely haven't stopped thinking... in fact, my brain seems to be producing more thoughts per second than it ever has. And I haven't stopped reading. I've been reading everything I can get my hands on. All sorts of books. About all sorts of topics.

And the million and one issues that affect this lovely country and region of mine? Oh yes, they still get to me.

Am I wiser? Maybe... I think so...
Am I richer? Oh good God, yes!! (*grins*)
Am I more focused than ever before? You bet.

Am I back for good? Time will tell.
For now though, rest in the sweet assurance that I'm back.

I'm here, blogland. I'm back.
And I'm ready to start talking.