Monday, February 29, 2016


The view as I flew
over Mexico ... I think :)
I took a mental leap.
When I first heard about the programme, a seed of a thought was planted and I figured, Maybe I could do that. Sounds affordable enough.

The thought never left me.
In fact, it grew until I started to make imaginary plans in my head. I started to do research, to calculate what it would cost and whether I had what it took. I started to think, in a very real way, what if I could actually do this? And the magnitude of the possibilities began to outgrow and displace the impossibilities.

I saw a way.
The view as I flew ...
beautiful :)
I don't think I really expected to actually do it, but the more the thought lingered, the more my mind began to show me ways I might be able to make this dream real. It was a small dream - insignificant really in the larger scheme of things. But for me, it would be a step into an unknown that could either make or break me. This I know: to get where I want to go in life, I have to continually exercise faith that can literally move mountains.

I began.
I used to think those syllables were words motivational speakers used to manipulate people into thinking that complexities were simplicities. But those words are the markers that draw a definitive line behind the man or woman who becomes consumed with a cause to the point of deliberate, calculated action. I BEGAN. And the second I did, I think the unseen world was given notice that here came determination; here came unflappability; here came purpose. And it made way.

The view as I flew
over the United States.
I moved.
All the plans had been put in place. The ticket was bought. The relevant organisations were notified. All that was left was for me to actually pick up my little bundle and make the move. So I packed my little bundle. And I was ready to take that step. Then I realised what I was about to do, and ...

I balked.
Fear gripped me like a man in the throes of a seizure. What-ifs overwhelmed me. And my mind - the same mind that had been churning out scenarios of glorious possibilities - began to manufacture dark and sinister omens. I had to fight the feeling of losing before I had begun. I had to win the war in my head before I won the war anywhere else.

I fought. I won.
And before I could doubt myself again, I took my little bundle, kissed my country goodbye, whispered a prayer, and flew off to Mexico.

And now here I am.


neena maiya (guyana gyal) said...

Congratulations, Ruthi. Leaving one's comfort zone can be tough. I hope you make a lot of wonderful friends over there.

Ruthibelle said...

Thanks GG!