Thursday, September 6, 2018

Back To School For Meeeeee!

I've been out of academia for almost a decade. Just saying that makes me feel like an old woman. But earlier this year, I sent in my application to study for an MSc. I hadn't really made the decision to do the MSc yet. I was just giving myself the option - just in case life ended up working out in a way that could accommodate it. I had no idea where the money would come from - or the time, for that matter.

Well, one bold move and three job changes later, here I am - doing my MSc. I'm actually doing this. And, to be honest, I'm as excited as you please, but I'm a little nervous too, because I haven't been a student in so long. I don't even remember what that feels like. I used to be great at school. I wonder if I still am. I used to be essayist extraordinaire. I wonder how long it will take to brush that skill off and get back into the research/writing groove. I used to be Miss Participation. I wonder if I will have the time or energy to do anything more than go to class and go home. I used to be Miss Ambition. I wonder if I even care enough to want to win or lead anything. Or if anyone would want me to (lol).

This is one of those moments when I'm full of anticipation and questions. I love school. I'm very clear on the fact that that sentiment hasn't changed. But now I work full time, and I have other responsibilities that eat into my time in significant ways. Now I actually have a life (lol, I'm now qualified to tell undergrads to get one).

It has been a wonderfully full life. And I'm not willing to surrender any part of it. How do I make room for more without exhausting what already exists? How do I expand myself and my life without diminishing the impact or importance of everything I am already part of? Is there room for more?

There has to be. The path has already been chosen, and the journey has already begun. And I think the people who preach abundance have the perfect advice for this situation: Think abundance, not limitation. There is enough room in your life for everything you need. You have the capacity and capability to excel in ALL areas.

It all has worked itself out so beautifully and effortlessly so far that I am honestly not perturbed about it. What did Desiderata say? Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

No comments: