I'm Seeing Things

Little particles of light flitting before my eyes and on walls and on computer screens and books and just everywhere. And I don't mean the kind of imprints you see when you look into bright light for too long and then look into a dark area or vice versa. I see these little shiny specks just poppin' up out of anywhere at any hour of the day in any light all over the place.
I've never tried to touch one (can't give anybody a reason to call me crazy), and I don't know if I'm the only one seeing them (I strongly suspect so, because this chick at work the other day just walked right through a coupl'a them, and never even flinched).

I used to see this kinda thing when I was younger - everywhere, but they went away. Now they're back again, and I'm wondering what they really are. What causes your eye/mind to suddenly play tricks like that... I'm not crazy, and I'm not sick either. I'm just seeing things that nobody else does... whatever that makes me, I'm not crazy!

Can You Read?

If so, take a minute, pause, and whisper a tenkie Jesus.

She stayed on my mind all day... I was sitting at E-Park typing this post when she came up, asked if it was alright to sit beside me. Started talking. Said she hardly visited the park. Never had the time-what was the time? I told her some minutes after 7. Started exclaiming over the million and one things she had to do. Then she noticed my laptop.

Old Woman: Ahm, I can ask you a question? *Rb nods* What is that?
Rb: A computer.
Old Woman: So you can use it to talk too?
Rb: No
OW: Oh, so you using it to do school work and them kinda things there?
Rb: I not doing school work right now.
OW: *moves closer* Me a disturb you? *Rb shakes head, continues typing* So like somebody who can't read, them can use that?
Rb: No. If you can't read you can't use a computer.
OW: Oh. So like somebody that can help themself...
Rb: If you can make out some words then you can work your way through, but if you can't read at all then you can't use a computer.
OW: *stands and starts rummaging through her bag* Sometimes is not their fault you know Miss... *Rb looks up... what?* Sometimes them parents split up and them just can't read miss. *Rb nods.* Like this girl mi friend tell me bout miss. She was eight you know miss (How weird is it to have an old woman calling me miss?). And her father chop off her mother head... and she see it. She inna the children's home for 8 years. So that mean seh she a what?
Rb: 16
OW: Is 16? 8 and 8 a wat? 16, right. Is not her fault you know miss. Sometimes annuh fi them fault that them can't read...

Then she picked up her bags and walked away.

Mindless

It's too easy to fall
Into a feeling you fight to forget
Dude has that effect
Discovered my secret, untouched parts
Left fingerprints on my heart...

This by far
the most explosive year
of my short life
pity the poor sap
who's there
to share
when the fuse disappears...

Realising this nasty habit
of denying things
til the very last minute
then it's like freeze-frame
a fifty-second flashback
regret and shame
and little pieces adding up...

I'm not an actress
it's hard to tell lies
can't play mind games
or do deception/disguise
truth is like a haunting wind
constantly whistling in my ears
resonating in corridors of time
palpitating with heart and mind...

Even when little white lies would make my life easier
i still tell the truth...

How do you let love down?

How do you look into the eyes of the people
who support
and believe
unconditionally
and say you've failed?

The anguish
of looking into loving eyes
and reading disappointment...

How do you let love down?

I’m not blessed with the luxury of care-freedom
try as i might
i can't pull that off
i care
i really do
groomed on compliments and congratulations
i've been the star in their crown
was supposed to continue that show…

For things to fall apart now is killing me
Who am I if not who they expect me to be?

How do you let love down?

Venting

To the Chupid Bus-Driver who cut before my bus-driver and nearly kill off a bus-full of people (including me) yesterday: What the frick you think this is? Dover raceway? Where you get your damned driver's license? And what the hell you think you doing cutting in front a driver going full speed on a two lane traffic-jammed road - just to get to a damned bus-stop for two little passengers? You damn lucky our bus-driver can actually drive, or else you would have bout sixty murder charges on your head now. And you lucky the man that stop our bus and got out to confront you bout your nasty driving never have a gun on him. Him woulda blow your brains to Timbuktu. Is people like you give Jamaica bad name, driving on the road like you get your license underwater! You don't know you can't overtake on main road that ram with traffic? And then for you to look at the bus fulla frighten passengers that just see them life flash before them and laugh? You shudda open your bus door when the angry man come knock it and tell yuh to come outta the b@*b$cl&^t bus to make him and you work it out. Yuh shudda open the bus door and come out mek him get to buss yuh a$$. Eediat!!

To the University Administrator who neglected to update their website: Now you just really need a lick inna yuh head!! You know how much trouble you cause me? I was there believing I had to pay $43,000 plus miscellaneous. Had the money put down too. Now I hearing that things change and I have to pay $150 something-thousand!! You know how much trouble you cause me????? You know the hell me going through now to find that mega-load a money that my parents don't have hiding somewhere cause them not rich people? How you must not update something as crucial as the raises in fees?? Especially by THAT MUCH? Hm? You think money grow on trees round here? You think we have money fallin from sky like rain? Hm? You mek I ever catch you... I beat that 150 gran outta you...

To the guy at work who claims to have this unhelpable attraction to me: Help it!! Because you don't stand a chance in hell and you're getting on my laaast nerve! You make me want to throw my cell phone through the window under a speeding car, disguise myself and go into hiding. For the record, when a girl say she not interested the first coupla times, is not a test to see if you persevere and eventually get the prize - is not some covert invitation to pursue her to the ends of the earth. It should never be a turn-on. Take it that she mean exactly what she say: SHE NOT INTERESTED!!

And furthermore, is just plain chupid and ridiculous to ask a girl you just meet and barely know if you can be her boyfriend - just outta the blue so?? If it was a joke, it would prob'ly pass for a half-compliment, but for you to look her dead in the eyes and be serious... and she don't know you from Eden, and you don't know anything bout her? You MUST be kidding!! The law is that you try to get to know the girl first, then, when you build some sorta attraction, you try a move...

And one more thing, you can't just up and start pursuing a girl without finding out first if she don't have a man! This is Jamaica! You ever hear bout cutlass and bottle torch?? Man will black your eye for them woman... so nex time you feel 'unhelpable attraction' do yourself a favour and check if the chick single FIRST!!

Tagged 1: Self-Search on Google

1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
So I typed in 'Ruth wants' and saw this: my husband wants to see me kiss another female? Then I typed 'Ruthie wants' and apparently I want one more year (can you say amen?). Then I realised that the question really was ‘Ruthie needs’ so I typed that in, and well, Ruthie Needs Money!! How true is that?? LOL

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Ruth looks like Baby Spice?? What? First off, she’s white, and I’m as black as midnight (and twice as dark!) And my hair is baby-fro-fabulous. Hers is a little less, ummm, negroid, you read me? No resemblance there.

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Ruth does: sexual health?? What’s going on with Google? So I didn’t like that answer and checked the ones below. Apparently I also do women’s bible commentary, and a strawberry dance… hmmmph!

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Ruth hates Lenan-lee from D. Gray-Man (what’s that?) and studying (actually not true, looove studying. Weird, I know)

5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "has gone" in Google search:
Ruth goes with Naomi. LOL!!! Hilarious, especially since I live with a 74 year old aunt! Who I fondly refer to as my Naomi (I know I’ve never mentioned her before, but tuff, so I don’t air all my laundry and spill all my biz on blogger... suck it up!!)

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Ruth loves “it”. LMAO. Let’s leave that one alone!

7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
Ruth eats “it” using her paw!! I swear I’m not making this up… Google is on something today!

8: Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Ruth has the right attitude… Ok now we’re talking! I was getting a lil worried a while back thurrr..

9: Type in "[your name] died" in Google search:
Ruth died *whispers* of rare cancer... here comes the eerie music… don’t look at me like that nig, it’s Babe Ruth they’re talkin bout, not me…

10: Type in "[your name] won't" in Google Search:
Ruth won't apologise… haaaaaaaah! Someone got that line from me not two seconds ago!! LOL

11: Type in "[your name] can't" in Google Search
Ruth 'can't sell it – I’ll sit on it'. Whut? Can you say freeeeakeeeey??

12: Type in "[your name] didn’t" in Google Search
Ruth didn’t have rare cancer! Ha! I told you! (Hey, maybe neither did Babe Ruth?)

Gotta admit this was fun! Now you try it…

Movie Quotes

Ten of my favourite movie catch-phrases. Guess what movie they're from:
1. The precioussss... they sstole it from usss (I know, too easy!)
2. This. Is. SPARTAAA!! (Also veery easy. Hint: Lotsa hot brothas without shirts... *swoon*)
3. That's Beautiful with 2 'L's...
4. Guy: Kiss mi arse!
Gal: Kiss mine! In English!!
5. There has to be a mathematical explanation for how bad that tie is. (Talk about an intelligent diss!)
6. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And (the catch-phrase is): I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. (Luh-huh-huuuv this!)
8. May the Force be with you! (Never actually watched the movie, but still... use the phrase)
9. Looks like I chose the wrong day to quit snorting hash... (Hint: movie starred the last two black actors (M&F) to win BIG Oscar awards...)
10.Darling, nothing is final 'til you're dead, and even then, I'm sure God negotiates. (This is reeely old, guys. Was an oldie romantic comedy with Drew Barrymore)

Brawta (Jamaican word for 'a little extra'):
Guy: What do women want?
Gal: We have no idea what we want.
Guy: I knew it!! (Laughed sooo hard! But, ladies, that's not true... *blink-blink* really, it's not... we know what we want, right?)

Movie Buzz

I admit, I stole this from Infinite Ink's blog, but it looks so good, I decided I have to talk about it too. Tyler Perry's new movie, The Family That Preys, definitely looks like a winner. I know I'll be going to watch it as soon as it reaches Jamaica, (pre-pre DVD or big screen, whichever comes first). As in, I saw the preview, and now I'm itching to see the movie. See for yourself:



And I wanna see Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2 too! I'm a sucker for chick flicks and romantic comedies, and the prequel was koolio, so this one definitely got me: