Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Writing My Passion

In my times of greatest conflict, I find it easy to write.

Flip open a notebook. Pick up a pen. Write my fingers into a tizzy. Let my fingers lead me into alternative, imaginary worlds...

I wish I could write from my heart. I wish my heart had hands to write what it felt. I wish there was some process through which my feelings bypassed my mind and all the other regions of my body that seem to throw them into confusion, and just went straight to my hands, to my fingers, so I could write, and adequately, clearly, express what I feel.

I wish I knew what my writing voice was: you know, that style, sound and quality that is uniquely, distinctly me. I wish imitation were a difficultly acquired skill, instead of an educational necessity. I wish intelligence, uniqueness and individuality were more readily advocated and encouraged, so that more people would grow up discovering themselves – their true selves – in their own ways, instead of getting lost in a sea of shiftless imitators. Then, perhaps, perchance, maybe people would find themselves. And I would find myself.

To find oneself: what does that mean? To find oneself?

I need to find myself
Amidst all this empty drifting
To pour my heart into a bowl
And do some careful sifting

What I need is to be totally completely free
What I need is to be totally completely me...

Who am I?

In times of greatest conflict, I find it easy to write.

Copyright 2007
Writefully Mine
Ruthibelle

23 comments:

Will said...

preach it!!!

i totally follow...

Mizrepresent said...

Me too Sweety, me too! So let it flow!

Anonymous said...

I so love this...

Annie Paul said...

but you HAVE found a voice Ruthibelle, and it's a compelling voice, that's why we all visit your blog several times a day to hear what you're saying...

now as to finding yourSELF, that's another matter, you won't start to do that till you hit 40 and by the time you're 50 there you'll be in all your glory, yourself and all! voila--

and wishing your heart heart had hands to write what it felt. what could be more eloquent than that??

geewiz said...

ditto annie, ruthi u rock!

Ruthibelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lucy said...

i don't think you could have said it any better!

and as far as finding yourself, AT LEAST YOU'RE LOOKING :))

Ruthibelle said...

oh lord, I have to wait til I'm how old to really find my-self?? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? :(

Nah, really tho... writing is the thing that gets my blood flowing... feel like I was born to do it. I should also big up Jackie who is of like passion.

And thank you for reading.

cool destiny said...

Very passionate words. All I can say is stay true to yourself as you search.

Gordon said...

Copyright Ruthibelle eh? I'm GONNA STEAL IT jk/s Nice writing

http://gordonswaby.com

areyouteeaych said...

But the quote says "create yourself" rather than "find yourself" which would imply that you are lost. Are you lost Ruthibelle? The creation of oneself sounds so much more fun anyway, don'tcha think?

Stephen Bess said...

I definitely hear a "voice." Nice. :)

Jamaican Dawta said...

"To pour my heart into a bowl
And do some careful sifting"

Simply profound! Girl, I look forward to your first book. :)

Ruthibelle said...

I'm elated!! Yay... all these comments -not that I know anyone who hates compliments... :) Thank you all very much. I really appreciate it.

Steve, CD, JD, that book is a looong time coming (one of the random dreams floating in my head)

R.U.T.H, you're right... I should continue creating and stop this search for some vaguely defined, unknown, external entity... that kinda sounds like looking for aliens!

Gordon, I did copyright this in 2007 (when it was written), so go ahead and steal it... I'm looking for money to pay for grad school next year... :D

Jdid said...

you do have your own voice

Jacqueline Smith said...

And a lovely one too.

BTW, thanks for that big up.

Rethabile said...

"To pour my heart into a bowl
And do some careful sifting"

Looks like you're already doing it. Somewhere you mention the desire for feelings to leave the heart and go straight to the scribbling hand.

I think because the mind is the keeper of memories, little experiences we've been through in life, small quirky encounters, it needs to be part of the writing process. The "heart" starts the poem, and the "mind" writes it.

Tami Tami said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tami Tami said...

my sentiments exactly...but you're a great writer, I'd say your voice is real...and that's good enough.

Mad Bull said...

I say stop searching and just live. Try to live decently, try to help others and just live. That way, when you reach "forty" or "fifty" and find what you weren't even looking for, you might even like it.
Nice post, Ruthibelle. Bwoy, dah name yah long doh. Can I shorten it to RB?

Ruthibelle said...

LOL. Mad Bull, I already did.

Thanx Tami.

Rae said...

Wow Ruth, this is some good stuff. Welcome back indeed! I just sat here and read all your posts. Your writing is excellent and addictive :) keep em coming

Ruthibelle said...

thanx much rae :)