Dear Daddy Dearest,

I should start by saying how much I love and respect you as a man who can own the word 'father' in its fullest sense. As a man who actively contribute to the welfare of all your children. As a man who stick with one wife for all of 24 years, and as a husband who still do corny things like hug your wife from behind and kiss her on the lips before your children (yuck!)...

But seriously daddy... I think is time you and me talk. And since I still fraid to tell you these things just so, I decide to write this letter.

*Deep breath*

See, daddy...

I'm a big girl now.

Most people agree.

I not being feisty or rude or playing some rebellion game. I'm 20 years old now, you know. I think I have enough sense to make certain decisions without.... parental interference.

*deep breath*

Daddy, I think is time for you to let go.

I don't mean let go as in desert me and cut me off completely (especially not now when I halfway through university, oh God no!). I mean loosen your grip a little so I can... you know... breathe...

Daddy, I done know where I come from. You drill that into my head and I will never forget it. God knows I love home, and I will forever be a country-bumpkin at heart, but some things can only stay in the heart. I don't want to live there forever. And sometime soon, you must realise and accept that I won't.

And this religion thing... *sigh*. Daddy... would you please stop interrogating my friends bout religion? If they not Christians, then they just not Christians. Leave them alone and stop frighten them with hell and eternal damnation every time they come round.

And... ahm... this thing about me having a boyfriend that you like... You realise, daddy, that is not you the young man dating, is me? How you expect me to get married, sir, if I don't date nobody? And how you expect me to date anybody, sir, if alla them fraid a you? And how you expect them to stop frai a you, sir, if everytime they come near your house, you sit them down and preach them a sermon or conduct CIA-level interrogation?? You know me stubborn just like you and me not going fall for the set-up thing you and mummy try with Jazzy! (Jazzy=my older sis)

Daddy, I know when you look at me you still see little defenseless five-year-old Ruthie with the lisp and the buff teeth and the crooked little smile, but if you look harder you will notice that the lisp disappear, the buff teeth grow out properly, and the smile not so crooked anymore. This overprotective, control-my-life, interrogate/convert/scare-away-my-friends thing... *sigh*... it have to stop.

Daddy, when you look at me, don't see the big, bad world waiting to get me. Don't see the men you will never trust with your precious little innocent daughter... Don't see the things you have no control over and can never change anyway. See me. Beneath the make-up and the earrings and the pretty floral patterns, is the same Ruthie you raised from baby. I still your baby girl. Just a woman too. And woman mean autonomous freedom to decide my life... without well-intentioned but undue interference... you understand what I saying?

With Love,
Ruthibelle.

Cc: Mommy Dearest...