Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Talk With the Self

I should start on a high note and point out that I love you in word, thought, deed and truth. Can't live without you, and that's no lie. I even have friends getting jealous and malicious because I love you so much... but such is life. I love you. I can't help it. Afer all, you're you! Who wouldn't fall in love with that? =-)

I should also say that you've been making a lot of personal progress lately. Like the way you've been getting up early in the mornings and getting more things done around the house? Fabulous. And the way you're not allowing little things to bother you, and actually having entire worry-free days? Just awesome. I love it. Cause I, for one, can't stand it when you worry.

And your self-control is coming along nicely! Remember when that same gal there open her mouth to speak nonsense in class (again), and you actually kept mum this time, and kept a straight face, even though the whole class was looking expectantly at you (cause them know you love to rebut and rebuff)?? I know it was hard, but I was so proud when you did that.

Or remember that time when that lady came to Auntie J's house and decided to pretend you didn't exist?? You actually held your tongue and managed to keep a smile on! Bra-vo. I know how trying moments like that are, and I'm really glad you're learning how to handle spiteful offense. I always say, if you can't change action, change reaction. Don't kill up yourself over them things there, self. It not worth it. This self-control will come in handy when you meet all God's wonderful variety of people in the working world... you'll see...

But, seeeelf, ah muss tell yuh! There are some things about you that are getting on my nerves. Especially the things you hide so well for so long that I think they not there any more, only to see them resurface later on... self, what is up with that?

Take today, for example. How you manage to not be happily finished with that essay when you had an entire month to do it? What happened self? I thought we were on a roll with this doing all things on time thing... how come that happened?

Self, I'm so ashamed of you for that. I seriously would give you a spanking, except it would hurt me as much as it would hurt you. How dare you jeopardise my future first class honours like that?? And then to dump all this unbelievable guilt and regret for it on me- me?!! Self, how could you betray me like that??

I really thought we were over the procrastination phase. I thought we were making progress. Perhaps we are. Now ah not so sure. Self, I really can't tell you how unnerved and just plain old frustrated I am with you today. That essay was an A essay. You could have easily handed in, not just good work, but great work. Instead, you somehow managed to watch time pass till too late, and then the maddening race against the clock...

I have to admit that you stayed calm under pressure, especially when it touched 4:45 and you knew you were working against a 5 o'clock deadline... I'm glad you didn't panic and get jittery and do something stupid. But still, self, you never had to be in that situation at all!! You could have finished this thing weeks ago and had a nice, slow, peaceful day today.

So self, hear me out: I can't handle the procrastination thing again. This is not high school. You can't get way with them things like one time (okay, maybe you can, but really, is a B/B+ good enough when you could have easily gotten an A+? Mediocrity just don't make it in my books!)

Self, step it up man! Do better. Learn from your mistakes and shape the hell up. You better not let this happen again, you hear??

I done talk.


Annie Paul said...

wow, really cool post...you told yourself off lol!

but yeah i know that procrastinatin feeling, i get it too. go for the A+ girl, just focus and do it! yes, you can!

Ruthibelle said...

lol... Obama rhetoric never grows old, does it??

YES I CAN! And I know that. That's why I had to get serious with self today. We can't afford to slack off and hand in sub-standard work now: come too far, too close to finish, no room for regrets!

I'm sure the first part of the essay was just a killer... because my introductions are always just completely off that chain, and the last part is a killer too, because I write my conclusions when I write my introductions (my "technique" to ensure that the whole thing comes together, or, based on the opening and closng, at least seems that way, lol) but somewhere in the middle, I have noo idea what kinda reaction the lecturer is going to give, because I'm just not sure how cohesive that part is... that bugs the heck outta me because with just a little moer time, i could haev been confident and certain of an A+ essay!

Now I have to play it by ear, wait and see... cha!!

Anonymous said...

I feel like you were the little girl playing mommy with the dolly baby, teaching her the ways of the world and spanking her when she is hard ears.

Tek time with yourself y'hear? This is hilarious.


Blu Jewel said...

I enjoyed this post Ruthibelle because you were so open and brutally honest with yourself. I echo what areyouteeaych said...lol!

Be good to yourself and keep your grades up.

love to live; live to love!

Ruthibelle said...

lol!! Self needed a talking to, man. Getting me all upset with this thing... sooo not acceptable.

are... I don't think I was being too hard. I started with lotsa flattery, and reassurance...

jewel.. honesty with one's self is very is necessary.

Anonymous said...

That's telling Ruthi, Ruthi. Good job and I know it will work! Works with me all the time! Only difference with me is that I will smack myself a few time :)

Ruthibelle said...

Yeah... well it better work cause I cant afford the consequences!

Crankyputz said...

After that I kinda like your 'self' too...sounds like a cool kat

Wuthering said...

"if you can't change action, change reaction"

very important sentiment. i hate when my reactions are crazy!! (hehe)

*remember!! *remember!! (( you used to say...)) anyway...

GURL... wouldn't ya know... i am procrastinating on a paper RIGHT NOW!

I gotta tell you your talking to yourself really talked to myself. lol!

xxxxx toodles.

Believer said...

Dear Self:

Why do you procrastinate with obligations that have a solid due date?

Tomorrow you will finish and mail the taxes.


Thanks for the push Ruthibelle! ;)

Anonymous said...

Your self should really talk to my self sometimes, cause when I talk my self does not listen. Like right now. I'm typing this when I should really be typing something else.

Abeni said...

That's it girl. Let's hope self still doesn't have a mind of its own after all that.

Ruthibelle said...

@CP: aww thanx much

@Luce: I'm glad bout taht. SElf seems to be lining up now. I hope I dont get any more surprises!

@Believer: LMAO, Beleiver. Now see that word tomorrow can be so toxic!!

@LB: yeah we should have a meeting of the selves, lol

@Abeni: i really think self is lining up now... and it's about time!

David Tellez said...

Don't be too hard on yourself Ruthibelle.

Just...give yourself a break.

You messed up, but the important thing is, you learned from it.

That's the lesson you should take with you.

Because in the end, when all else is gone, the only person you can truly rely on, is, yourself.

Ruthibelle said...

lol David... yeah, well. I started off saying nice things, remember?? :)

Mighty Afroditee said...

Have a feeling that if I argued with my self, we would just argue. Sigh...she is sooo stubborn and hardheaded!

Loved the tone of this one ; )

mad bull said...

A little procrastination never hurt nobody... plus, think how well you did under pressure! If you don't put yourself under that pressure every now and then, you might lose your edge! I'm just sayin'...

Ruthibelle said...

@Afro: Yeah... more time I hafta pray that self not as tuff-headed as me

@MB: Anmd what if I lose more than my edge?? See what I saying?? lol...