Randomosity: Today's Thoughts

She should definitely talk less in class, because her darkness just overpowers... Today, for example, she was adamant that ALL people who migrate for years, and come back with accents, are trying to disown their Jamaican-ness. We (meaning the entire class) tried to show her that this wasn't necessarily the case. We tried to show her that sometimes it's just hard to lose that accent in a day, if ever! But she refused to listen. She was sure that ANYbody who came to live in Jamaica after years abroad and kept their foreign accent was just trying to be showy. This in a class where the teacher, who has lived here for quite a while, still has a heavy British accent. Steups.

I know I shouldn't have said it. But -at the time- it felt right. I thought the context allowed for such a comment. I thought I would be understood. Well, funny how fast everyone around you will back up into their shells, and deny ever knowing you... the wrong word, spoken even at the right moment, can do irreparable harm...

Maybe I reopened a door that should have stayed closed. I had no idea so many issues and thoughts and feelings still lingered. I guess (and hope), that by reopening this door, I can finally clean this closet once and for all.

Awww.. twin baby girls, with their hair twisted in reggae-colour beads... holding hands and crossing the road together, their little book-bags and tunics... adorable...

I broke his heart, ripped it to shreds, put him through hell, and all he says is: it's cool. Just like that. No hard feelings. No nothing. It's cool. We're okay, he says. Are we really okay? And was he always this amazing?

Dagger This Daggering Thing For All It's Worth!!

If Jamaican film-makers/play-producers wanted to make some money right now, and had all the requisite resources (money, time, actors/actresses, etc) at their fingertips, I would advise them to make a movie called 'The Daggering Dilemma'. Yeah. I really would.

I was reading on Javed and Long's blogs about this daggering debate, and like a wonderful, epiphanic bolt of lightning, the idea struck me: money! A fast-thinking, quick-acting, creative genius could make money out of this daggering controversy. Of course, they would have to act veeery fast, but still, as I see it, the money could probably be made.

How?? Start with the script. How about a script showing all the different players (as outlined in our beloved Long's blog) in one small community, each group characterised by their reaction to this not-so-recent dancehall phenomenon called daggering? The play would hafta be smartly written, loaded with ironies and symbolisms and parrallelisms- probably a staunch uptown Pastor with a pious-looking wife who 'daggers' on the side, or a shopkeeper who is absolutely repulsed by the idea of daggering till he one day goes to experience it for himself and somebody else asking if daggering cannot be compared to what dogs do in mating season... catch my drift? Clever hyperbole, syllogisms, and tons of regular jamaican humour could pull this thing off!! And it would make a killing, or atleast a near-killing... and quite possibly, create an entirely new buzz around town!

And even if the movie/play is not all that, some good PR, riding on the waves of the current debate, could make it appeal to the nation at large, so that people would want to come see it at least one time. The producer/advertiser would just hafta pull out all the stops to ensure that there was a huge turn-out on opening night! Probably make it a one-night only thing, and have different classes of tickets for front row seats versus back row seats, etc. And I know, I know... how can I even think of producing a movie/play that is not very good just to make money from a controversy?? Where are my morals?? My response: this is just speculation people. Spec-u-la-tion.

Plus, if the movie was really any good, or anything even closely related to something good, it could probably be used in University courses about Jamaica's dancehall culture and in those Western/European/Asian countries where our culture is so readily exoticised and glorified... we could have subtitles in a coupla other languages and sell DVDs... it probably could really work!! It probably could!

Too bad the debate kinda sizzling down now, and I dont know any film producers. Or else we could make a killing off this daggering thing, and still manage to be somewhat educational and informative, and make a mini-dent in the Jamaican documentary/film industry, and probably even carve out a little niche in the wider ever-globalising world... or somebody else could take this idea and do all of the above.

Maybe I oversimplifying, and I tend to get carried away with my "great" ideas, but what you think people?? Would you pay to go watch, at least once, a (real literary-kind of respectable) movie/play called 'The Daggering Dilemma'... especially if it promises to be good Jamaican symbolism and satire!!

Whispers: Hey, people, this idea is NOT copyrighted! *wink-wink* LOL!

Primary School Flashback

Grade Five: This was the same grade of the pixie accident. But that doesn't even stand out in memory like this other thing: I was a part of a group of about eight chosen to do devotions with the entire school in General Assembly. I was given a pre-scripted prayer to go home and memorise. I left the paper with the prayer at home on the morning of said devotion, and had to do an impromptu prayer (I'm a pastor's kid so to this day I think I aced that). When devotion was done, we all filed to our classrooms in lines (remember when you had to file in lines to do everything?? Even lines to go the danged bathroom!)

When Teach came in, she congratulated everybody else who did devotion, then turned to me, took the stack of test papers in her hand, and proceeded to hit me on my head with them... something about me spoiling her devotion cause I didn't read her prayer... I was a tender 9 *sniff-sniff, dabs eyes with hanky*

Now that I'm NOT nine anymore, I'm thinking of a million things I coulda done to get back at her, lol.

Chupse.

Too bad I was the silent good kid! If I could go back in time... maaaaan!! Justice would be seeeeerved... ;)

Unfunny Cartoons

These are supposed to be funny. The humour was completely lost on me... I mean, what on earth are they trying to say??

For Broken Hearts On Valentine's Day

My friends behaving like V-Day without a significant other is dismal, depressing and impossible to get through. I dunno why they find it hard to believe that a body can be a happy, significant whole till the appointed time of enjoinment, even on Valentine's Day, but, to show that I am human and really do have emotions, and satisfy their need to see me bleed...

Miss You

I saw them in the lounge
Hanging out
And I missed you

Saw him look at her
With that look
And I missed you

I watched him kiss her lips
Watched her flip
And I missed you

I heard her sigh
Then type
And then smile<
And I just knew

That once upon a time,
That would be me
And you

But today
It's her time
Not mine...
God, I miss you!

I re-read diary entries
Then I cried
Cause I miss you

Somebody asked what's wrong
And I lied
Cause I'm too blue

I walked out on that life
I am done!
I am too through

Still

Days like today
I remember
And I miss you...

PS One of my friends said Valentine's Day is a farce...

6 Annoying Net Thingies

1. Sites with music I can't turn off... grrrr! Especially repetitive music, like Lambchop's song that doesn't end, yes it goes on and on my frieeeend...

2. Pop-ups! Hate em, hate em, hate em! Especially smileys, cursors and screensavers; and why am I always the 9,999,999th person to visit a site?

3. Updates – every danged day!! Like I don't have anything better to do with my time!! And slowing up my computer...

4. Viruses... well obviously.

5. Forwards: Isn't it amazing how friends can't even spend a minute to write you a nice little personal message, but can find time everyday to assault your inbox with stupid, corny jokes, semi-porn and ridiculous (sometimes downright spooky) chain letters? Please... spare me...

6. LOL, ROFL, LMAO overkill: I love net-speak as much as the next person, but reading it every five words or so is just tiring, especially since we all know you're not really rolling on the floor laughing or even laughing out loud. Actually, come to think of it, does anyone really roll on the floor laughing over an IM?

Feel free to add to this list...

Waiting For Inspiration...

I believe man has done himself a grave injustice by overlooking his own inherent worth and potential. We've started to look elsewhere to find what is right in front of us, and even inside of us... like inspiration.

Why can't I be my inspiration? I mean, since I have no control over how other things, people or moments will be, why should I wait on them to inspire me?? Would it not be wiser to keep things in the realm of what I can control (me), and in the realm of who/what I can always rely on (God and me), and let that be my source of constant inspiration? If this is indeed so, then isn't it fair to say that inspiration, like life, is not something to be found or received from an external source, but something already resident within us that just needs to be tapped into?

That's why I'm a big advocate of selfishness (the antonym for selflessness, which is the absence of a self, which, as far as I'm concerned, is death). I think we've been socialised to believe that seeing ourselves as continuously talented, bright, beautiful, smart and downright inspiring is wrong, prudish and selfish. We're human, and therefore full of mistakes and fallibilities, we've been taught, the implication being: there could never be anything inspiring about us. But I say, I AM my inspiration. In fact, I am, and that alone warrants notice, so sit up world, and pay attention!!

When I say it, people look at me like, wow, well you're a self-loving narcissist. I always reply, well you know what? If it's true that you can't love anyone else till you love yourself, then that means I have a whole damn lot of love to go round!! Like my friend Jewel loves to say: live to love, love to live!

I refuse to wait till I'm old to BE... (great, smart, fabulous, talented... happy!) Nobody promised me tomorrow! My girl Ruth Rhytswell is always saying, live life like a legend, live life like it's golden. Another of my role models loves to say: "Wake up to your own power!" It's all right there inside of you:

Be your inspiration! Or else...

Simple Spelling, Hard Word...

Doing it::
Loving it::
They did her::
He did them::
She does everybody::

Why can't people just call sex sex?? What's so hard about saying the word?

Sex!! There, I said it... and I'm still alive...

We find every other word to candy-coat and sugar-paint that one little word: "body-talk", "having relations", "getting laid", "getting screwed", "putting it on somebody (or something, as the case may be)",the infamous "f" word, "hitting it", "coupling", "duggu-duggu", ... but we fail to say exactly what it is: sex!!

A couple had sex? They did it.
A guy had some sex? He did it too.
A girls gets a VD from sex? She caught it from doing it cause she didn't wear it...

Why is it so hard to say sex and sex-related words? What's so toxic and poisonous about them? Why is sex taboo? It's not even hard to spell. It's a three letter word, for crying out loud: S.E.X!

Don't even ask what got me started in this direction, but please people, words are simply a bunch of abstract letters strung together. They only acquire negative or positive connotations when -get this- when we add them!! So nothing's really taboo unless we want it to be...

And please please please please please note: you cannot beat your kid for saying the word SEX!!!