It sounds ridiculous, but it is true. A beach has been stolen in Jamaica. For what is a beach, if not the sand that adjoins to the sea's waters, inwards to the shore?
An estimated 500 truckloads of white sand have been illegally removed from the beach of a 64-acre property in Jamaica that was meant to be used for luxury villas (with spas, restaurants, amphitheatres and marinas, get the picture?). The removal of this sand has destroyed the beach-front and put a halt to US$109 million development plans. The whole country is in shock (that in itself is just hilarious), and investigations have been mandated by our Prime Minister, Bruce Golding, into the robbery.
Sounds like a joke, doesn't it? 500 truckloads of white sea-sand stolen? And a national investigation underway?
*Swtiches to Jamaican Patois*:
Me jus have a couple a questions:
1.Why would you steal 500 truckloads of sand that cannot be used for construction? What you doing with that?
2. Where on earth do you hide THAT MUCH sand?
3. You mean to tell me that nobody never see when them was moving off with truck-load after truckload of sand? Nobody never get suspicious after about the fiftieth truckload? Or the hundredth? Or the five hundredth? You mean to tell me that in Jamaica, where inquisitiveness is like second nature, and curiosity does abound, nobody never wonder what was going on and why? It never tickle nobody curiosity? That just hard to believe.
4. And you mean, if you live somewhere, and see truckload after truckload of sand being brought in, yuh ain't goin' want to know what them be doing with alla that sea sand?
Me ain't know, but it sound funny, very funny. In all senses: suspicious, weird and somehow strangely comical. On an even more serious note, though, we hope the thief them realise that is business that spoil for this country again. Is investment in we nation that them just set back for God knows how long. You can imagine the foreign businessman sit down in they big meeting to decide where to build another hotel, and when Jamaica come up, one a them say, 'no way, them people will steal anything, even the sand on your beach...'
Not funny at all...